The Easy Way Out
by Prisoner Len
Summary: Cloud and Zack are quite the daredevils, and when they land themselves in the hospital ward with broken limbs  again , Sephiroth takes the easy way out. Pain killers. Oh, how he regrets it. ASGZC, mostly CZS.


The phrase "curiosity killed the cat" was often used in situations involving cadets curious about what happened in the labs at Shinra. "Satisfaction brought him back" was used every time a SOLDIER went in for a mako treatment, and returned in one piece. Of course, one piece meaning the SOLDIER still had all of his limbs, internal organs, and had not been injected with any odd substances.

But for Cloud Strife, and his best friend Zack Fair, "curiosity killed the cat" always led to "satisfaction brought him back"—and it was never used in reference to Hojo's various experiments. No, Cloud and Zack were by far the most curious pair in Shinra—and the sneakiest. The cadet once wondered what it'd be like to lick a sword. He tried it. He found out that blades are sharp, and spent a month with stitches in his mouth. The SOLDIER once wondered what it felt like it'd be electrocuted. So he stuck his finger in an outlet. He found out shocks aren't the best feeling in the world, and luckily, he didn't die.

For their elder three lovers, Cloud and Zack were heart attacks walking; the three of them spent their each and every moment with the teens out of sight, waiting for the phone to ring, telling them Cloud had eaten mystery meat in the cafeteria and gotten food poisoning—again—or even that Zack had decided to pull a tail feather out of a chocobo and gotten kicked in the face. Again. They were the daredevils of Shinra; if someone dared them to try something, they did it.

Sephiroth was positive it would someday be the death of them, Genesis insisted boys would be boys, and Angeal spent his every waking moment having a stroke from worrying so much.

These antics were exactly how Zack and Cloud found themselves in the hospital ward—for the sixth time in the past two weeks, mind you—with their lovers standing around them. Two were frowning, and one redhead was gleefully asking if a wolf's bark was worse than its bite. The nurses actually knew the two by name now—_all_ of them.

"Did it hurt?" Genesis asked, slamming his hands down on Cloud's bed and leaning forward, an excited gleam in his eyes.

Cloud shifted his broken leg away from the redhead's hands and shrugged his shoulders. "Nah. The fall when Zack _pushed_ me hurt more."

"Hey!" Zack cried from the next bed over, sporting a broken arm and various bite marks similar to the ones decorating Cloud's arms. "I didn't _push_ you—I fell, too!"

Sephiroth sighed and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. Only Zack and Cloud would walk up to a wild wolf and try to pet it. "You two need to stop this." He hissed.

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by twin puppy pouts—both pairs of lips jutted out, and eyes wide. Angeal's frown deepened, and Genesis mimicked their pout. Before Cloud and Zack had started dating, the blonde never pouted—at least, not like that—and not long after they started dating Genesis, Sephiroth, and Angeal, _Genesis_ picked up on the same pout.

It was like Sephiroth and Angeal were raising three five year olds who copied each other constantly—only (thankfully) Genesis never tried half of the stupid shit Zack and Cloud pulled. Unfortunately, Genesis _did_ egg them on.

"And _you_," he growled, turning on the redhead. "Stop encouraging them."

Genesis opened his mouth to argue, but Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and he clamped his mouth shut with another pout. Angeal scooped Zack up off of the bed, and Sephiroth picked up the smaller form of Cloud. With his other hand, he grabbed Genesis by the back of his coat and dragged him out of the hospital ward.

* * *

><p>"I don't like peas." Zack complained, pointing at his plate.<p>

Angeal sighed; they were sitting on the floor around the coffee table in the middle of the living room, eating dinner. The kitchen had been deemed unsafe for dinner because as soon as they'd gotten home, Zack and Cloud demanded ice cream—which turned into an ice cream fight, leaving the floor a slippery, sticky mess. Considering the cadet already had a broken leg, they didn't think he needed another, and Zack certainly didn't need one, either.

Though, to be perfectly (and painfully) honest, Sephiroth had really considered it. Would they be able to injure themselves with broken legs? Sadly, the answer was yes. They had both jumped from the roof of a nearby building once, with capes. Thinking that maybe they could fly.

They couldn't.

They'd both landed themselves in the hospital ward, legs in casts. The General had learned the hard way that Cloud and Zack would just terrorize each other, and _still_ cause trouble and get hurt, _with_ broken legs.

Cloud shoved his plate away from himself, crossing his arms and snuggling back into the pillows propping him up on the couch. "I don't want steak."

Sephiroth leveled a glare on one, then the other. "I don't really give a shit. Eat it, don't eat it. Starve for all I care." He growled; he really wasn't in the mood for this today.

Zack rolled his eyes and Cloud sighed. They both ate. It was like they just wanted to try his patience—which he didn't have much of in the first place. Angeal shook his head and stood, taking his and Genesis' empty plate into the kitchen with him. Cloud slapped Zack on the back of the head, and the General remembered—with much delight—that they'd been given pain killers to take.

Oh, happy day.

He nearly ran down the hall for the bags they'd taken back with him, grabbing the pill bottle and walking back to the living room, tossing the bottle up and catching it. He stood in the doorway, and gave Cloud and Zack a completely maniacal-looking, toothy grin, shaking the bottle slightly. Genesis cocked an eyebrow, looked at the teens, then snickered.

Zack was trying to make a run for it.

The General grabbed the back of Zack's shirt and glared down at Cloud, who was making a pitiful attempt at climbing off of the couch. He shoved the raven-haired teen back down on the couch, and grinned. "Going somewhere, Zackary?"

"I'm not taking those—ANGEAL! Sephiroth's trying to drug me!" he shrieked as Sephiroth uncapped the bottle and shook out some pills.

Angeal stumbled out of the kitchen, frowning. "He's what?"

"He's trying to dru—"

"I am giving them their pain killers." He spoke happily, cutting Cloud off. He stretched out his hand to Cloud, grinning widely. "Open."

The cadet shook his head violently, and Sephiroth heaved a sigh. Not giving the blonde time to react, he leaned down and kissed him on the lips. Cloud let out a pathetic little mewl of surprise, and Genesis shouted something about how it wasn't _that_ late. He bit the teen's lip, and as soon as Cloud opened his mouth, he pulled back, and shoved the pills in.

"That's not fair!" Cloud complained loudly after swallowing them. He gave Angeal a pleading look, but the man just shook his head. "I hate you."

"Love you, too." Sephiroth commented drily; he cocked an eyebrow at Zack. "Open."

Zack shook his head.

"Pup, take the pills." Angeal tried, crouching before his young lover.

Again, Zack shook his head.

"Zackary." Sephiroth warned, eyes narrowing into a glare.

Once again, a shake of the head.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Genesis muttered, climbing to his feet. He stomped over to the couch, pried the pills from the General's hand, and leaned in close to the teen. "Zackary Fair, you take these damn pills, or so help me—and I _mean_ it—you will wake up locked in the_ closet_ tomorrow morning."

Zack blinked violet eyes up at him, mouth automatically opening. The redhead took the chance and dropped the pills in, smiling to himself and giving a little 'hmph' of victory. Zackary Fair was utterly horrified of the dark—and the closet.

Yes, Genesis was indeed a master of persuasion. Sort of.

"I could kiss you." The silver-haired man said gleefully, watching the pouts on his youngest two lovers' faces.

The redhead shrugged, kissed the General on the lips, then gestured vaguely towards the door. "I'm going out." He declared.

Angeal, seeing his chance to escape babysitting a drugged up Cloud and loopy Zack, raised his hand quickly. "Let's go see Loveless!" he half-shouted, eyes wide.

Genesis squealed in pure excitement at Angeal, and the man realized his mistake a moment too late, throwing a pitiful frown over his shoulder at Sephiroth—who stuck his tongue out childishly, and waved farewell to the pair. He turned back to face the twin pouts, pushed Zack's legs off of the couch, and sat down between the two. He gently patted Cloud's cast, and wrapped an arm around Zack's shoulder, snatching up the controller.

"Now, how about a movie?"

* * *

><p>Approximately thirty minutes later, Sephiroth was thoroughly regretting putting his young lovers on pain killers. He cursed himself a million times over for even considering it; he could have spent a nice night at home, watching the two try to kill themselves. But no, he had gone for the pain killers—the easy way out of the situation. He wished he hadn't. For at some point during The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Zack had developed a complete fascination of Sephiroth's hair, and Cloud kept asking why there was a chicken on his roast beef.<p>

And Sephiroth was _positive_ he did not have a chicken _or_ roast beef inside his living room. As a matter of fact, he didn't even have it in his _kitchen_.

He was also quite sure it hurt when his raven-haired lover tugged on his hair. He pried the teen's fingers out of his silver locks and glared at him. "Zackary, stop pulling my hair."

"But it's—it's—" he grabbed a chunk of hair again, tossing it up and down. "It's so _shiny_!"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Suddenly, he was _very_ jealous of Angeal.

"Sephiroth," Cloud whined, though it sounded much more like 'Setiroth'. "There's… why is coconut sticks?"

Sephiroth merely stared at the blonde, trying to figure out exactly _what_ had just been said to him. Again, he pried Zack's fingers out of his hair, whipping his cat-like eyes back around to glare at him. "Zackary, sit on your hand."

The teen nodded dopily and attempted to lift himself up and slide his uninjured hand under his legs. Unfortunately, he was far more out of it than he should have been, and toppled over onto Sephiroth's lap, with an _incredibly_ irritating giggle. He lay there, tugging on the man's hair and occasionally poking Cloud's tiny little toes, a goofy smile on his face.

Dear Gaia, had he _overdosed_ them or something?

Multiple times, one of the five had been injured in some way, and put on pain killers. Multiple times, they had been groggy—and slightly loopy a couple of times—but they had never been _this_ out of it.

And judging by the fact that Cloud was swatting imaginary flies, they were indeed quite out of it. He grabbed the blonde's hands and set them back down on the slim stomach. Cloud grinned at him, smacking his lips together and yawning. Sephiroth looked down at Zack, who also gave a large yawn, and for a moment, he thought that maybe, maybe they'd go to sleep—

And then Zack crawled on top of Cloud and was straddling him, kissing him on the lips, and Sephiroth was not sure _how_ that had happened. He did, however, find out that Zack did not want to be moved. He climbed to his feet, grabbed the teen around the waist, and pulled on him, but all that resulted in was Zack clinging to Cloud, who would let out a loud shout about gods-knew-_what_.

"Zackary, get off of him!" he scolded, releasing the SOLDIER and frowning down at the two.

Cloud shook his head violently, nuzzling Zack's neck. "Is… what're you, jelly?" he giggled, drooling all over Zack's exposed skin.

For the second time, Sephiroth just stared at Cloud, completely dumbfounded. He was pretty sure that his youngest lover had just called him a _sandwich condiment_. "Zackary, _off_."

Sighing, Zack clumsily climbed off of the blonde, wobbling slightly as he stood next to the couch. Satisfied, Sephiroth looked away, reaching for the controller to turn the TV off. He was hoping he could at least move them into the bedroom, so when they did fall asleep, they'd at least be comf—

"…What the _fuck_ are you doing?" Sephiroth demanded, turning his gaze back to the two.

Who were now half-naked. He looked away for _five fucking seconds_, and they had taken their shirts off. They both gave him innocent looks, eyes wide and completely clueless. Cloud stuck his tongue out, and Sephiroth impulsively returned the childish display. He snatched Cloud's button-up out of Zack's hands, glared at the raven-haired teen, then handed the clothing to the cadet.

"Put your shirt back on." He ordered, watching the teen expectantly.

Cloud stuck his tongue out again and shook his head. "Don' wanna."

"Oh, so _now_ you make sense." Sephiroth commented drily, rolling his eyes. He gripped Cloud's shoulder and pulled him into a sitting position (not amused when then blonde tried to stick his hands inside of his cast) before sliding his arms into his shirt sleeves. "We're going to bed."

Zack snorted loudly, then erupted into a fit of loud barks of laughter, losing his balance and falling roughly on his ass. Which, of course, made him laugh even _louder_ and made Cloud burst into giggles.

Had he mentioned how jealous he was of Angeal?

He heaved yet another sigh and looked at the cable box. It wasn't even past eight, and he already wanted to kill himself. As he picked Zack up off of the floor, he made a mental note to never be the one watching them when and if they ever needed pain killers again. Two unsuccessful attempts at getting the teens to go to the bedroom later, and Sephiroth was resorting to bribing.

He pinned them both with serious gazes and simply said, "If you come to bed now, I will let you braid my hair."

And just like that, two pairs of wide, overjoyed eyes, full of sheer delight at the prospect of braiding Sephiroth's hair met his. They scrambled to their feet, and he scooped Cloud up before the teen could potentially hurt himself. Zack in tow (he was already trying to braid his hair), they headed for the bedroom. He silently congratulated himself on the successful bribe; he was a genius for offering up the chance to braid his hair in exchange for them going to bed.

What he hadn't thought of was the many distractions on the way to the bedroom.

One of which was the bathroom, and both of his lovers were now profusely claiming they had to _go_. Badly.

So, with a sigh, he set Cloud on the bathroom counter, and helped Zack undo his pants. The blonde giggled, pointing at the other teen's dick and simply saying "doughboy". Sephiroth sincerely hoped that Cloud was not going to be nicknaming body parts after the pain killers wore off. Once Zack had gone (and almost completely missed the toilet), he re-zipped the teen's pants, ordered him to sit on the edge of the bathtub, and undid Cloud's pants.

Only Cloud was suddenly very shy of anybody seeing him naked apparently, and was holding his pants up.

"Lookin' down…" Cloud muttered, then laughed like a complete moron. "Why you do that?"

"Look, do you need to go to the bathroom or not?" Sephiroth sighed, one hand still gripping Cloud's pants.

The teen shook his head. "Um…. Yes."

"Well, that certainly helped. Thank you, Cloud." The General muttered, prying the blonde's hands away and sitting him on the toilet.

"Hey-o, no problemo." Cloud replied seriously. He kicked his feet back and forth, and seemed to be very interested in the toilet paper until he realized he actually _did_ have to go, and went.

The sound of running water caused Sephiroth to jerk his head around, and he found Zack standing completely naked in the shower. He allowed himself a brief moment of confusion as to how he got out of his clothes so quickly before striding across the bathroom and shutting the water off. He dragged his lover out of the shower and shoved a towel at him.

"Why the hell—nevermind." He growled with an exasperated sigh.

He really, really wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle.

It took about ten times longer than it should have for Sephiroth to get Zack back into his clothes, and drag them both back out of the bathroom. A simple trip down the hallway to the bedroom was turning into an adventure that he really wasn't sure he wanted to be on, and when they finally made it to the door, he kicked it open, and grabbed Zack before the teen had the chance to wander further down the hallway to the office. Because really, if they went into the office, they'd probably somehow hurt themselves.

How, Sephiroth wasn't sure, and he didn't want to find out.

He closed the door behind him and set Cloud down on the bed. The teen immediately flopped onto his back and pointed at the ceiling, and Zack made some odd squeaking noise before climbing up next to Cloud. Satisfied that they were at least not hurting themselves—or each other—Sephiroth went looking for the controller to the TV perched on a stand across from his bed. His bedroom was quite honestly bigger than his living room; his bed sat in the middle, a couch was pushed up against one wall next to a bookcase, and his closet was a walk-in—something Cloud always claimed jealousy of, and Zack _always_ avoided.

"Zaaaaaack." Cloud whined—or moaned, maybe; Sephiroth wasn't entirely sure.

The General spun around, and caught Zack once again half-naked, and straddling the blonde. He opened his mouth to yell at the teen, then shut it and shook his head; Cloud didn't really seem to care, and if they wanted to screw each other on pain killers, who was he to stop them? They'd just wait until he, Genesis, and Angeal fell asleep later anyhow. He returned to his search for the remote, doggedly ignoring the sound of Zack sloppily kissing Cloud, and the blonde mewling happily in reply; it wouldn't do him a whole lot of good to get excited by the drugged up displays of affection.

…Gods knew what the teens would do to him in their out of the bag state.

He finally dragged the controller out from under the couch and climbed back to his feet, hitting the power button. The TV came to life with a continuation of the movie the three had been watching in the living room. He sighed and quickly moved to change the channel before Cloud or Zack noticed.

"Zaaaack, is Spongeboob!" Cloud cried, putting his hand in his lover's face and shoving him away. He blinked half-open, tired blue eyes, then burst into giggles. "Sponge_boob_!"

Too late. The teens scrambled into sitting positions, eyes glued to the TV. Cloud's shirt was once again unbuttoned, and Zack was down to his boxers. For the third time, Sephiroth wondered exactly how they got undressed so quickly—_especially_ while drugged.

Zack enthusiastically patted the bed next to him, violet eyes not moving from the screen. "Seph! Seph, c'mhere. C'mhere, c'mhere! Spongeboob's on!"

With a defeated sigh, the General climbed onto the bed, and leaned back against the headboard. He snapped his fingers, earning two completely confused gazes, and beckoned his younger lovers to sit with them. They happily complied, Cloud clinging his arm and drooling on his elbow, while Zack leaning his head on the man's shoulder. They quieted down and seemed perfectly content to just watch the movie—much to Sephiroth's delight. Moments later, a light snore came from Zack, and they were both asleep, hanging all over the General. Shaking his head, he kissed Zack on the forehead, then ran his hand through Cloud's clonde spikes, and settled himself down comfortably.

Nothing wrong with taking a nap while they were asleep, right?

* * *

><p>Wrong.<p>

Very, very wrong.

Sephiroth awoke what seemed like seconds later, to a weight on his chest, and feeling _very_ vulnerable. He blinked his eyes open, and was met with a nearly-naked Cloud sitting on his chest and grinning at him. He wondered three things; _why_ Cloud was sitting on him, where_ Zack_ was, and _where_ his clothes went. The most concerning thought was that he couldn't see Zack anywhere, and he had no idea how long he'd been out, or if the pain killers had worn off yet.

"Cloud," he started warily, gazing up at the blonde. "Where is Zack?"

The teen stared dumbly at him for a second, then leaned down and licked his face. "You taste like strawberries."

_Well_ then. That answered the whole pain killers thing. He pushed himself into a sitting position, pulling Cloud close to his now-bare chest, and casting glance around the room. Sure enough, there was Zack, laying on the floor… in Sephiroth's shirt. He slid the blonde off of his lap, and carefully lay down on his stomach, dangling his hands off of the bed and pulling on a black spike. Violet eyes met his, and he frowned; Zack looked completely pathetic, and utterly upset.

"What's wrong?" he murmured, rubbing his thumb against the SOLDIER's cheek.

Cloud flopped down next to him and reached for Zack's hand. "Zack said he… said he… something and pickles?" he asked, tapping his chin in thought.

Zack gave Sephiroth a miserable pout, violet eyes sad. "Cloud was hogging you."

The General sighed and shook his head, gripping the raven-haired man by the arm and pulling him up onto the bed. After a moment of giggling from Cloud, and much effort to get Zack to lay still, they were both on their back in the middle of the bed, Sephiroth hovering above them.

"Cloud, you need to share." He said, running a hand through blonde spikes.

The teen pouted up at him, and he lay down between the two, wrapping his arm first around Zack, then Cloud, and pulling them close. The clock on the nightstand's glowing display told him it was nearly midnight, and, with a yawn, he turned off the TV and gave each of his younger lovers a kiss on the lips. Of course, one kiss led to two, and two led to three, and before he really knew it, they'd gotten him naked, and were _all_ over him.

* * *

><p>"We're hooooome!" Genesis cried happily, stepping through the door at half past one in the morning.<p>

Angeal slapped him upside the head and shushed him. They closed the door quietly, and made their way across the dark living room, then down the hallway. Shushing Genesis again—because the redhead stubbed his toe, and it was _clearly_ the end of the world—they nudged the bedroom door open.

"…That's fucking adorable." The redhead whispered, gawking.

Sprawled across the bed, and very much naked, was Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack. The General's long silver hair draped across their youngest, blonde lover, who was clinging to Zack, face nuzzled into his neck. Zack, on the other hand, had his head tucked under Sephiroth's chin. All three were sleeping soundly, a smile on each face.

Angeal shushed his redhead companion again, and slipped across the rug quietly. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to each forehead, pulled the blanket up over their naked forms, then turned around and headed back out of the bedroom. He grabbed Genesis by his coat and dragged him out of the room with him, closing the door on their way.

Sephiroth's grin widened, and he nuzzled Zack's spikes. Sure, he loved Angeal and Genesis, but tonight was his time with the teens—and like hell he was going to let Genesis wake them up and force him to spend the rest of the night trying to get them to _fall asleep_. He kissed Zack's forehead, and pulled Cloud closer to his chest before closing his eyes and letting himself drift back to sleep.

It really was an adorable sight to see. Kind of. You know, if you set aside the fact that Cloud and Zack were still in casts, and it really was a mystery _how_ they managed to _do_ anything. Still cute, though.

* * *

><p><strong>I probably should have gone with Xanex, instead of just "pain killers". I've at least had to take Xanex before, and I know it makes you pretty out of it, lol.<strong>

**If Zack and Cloud were within 5 feet of me, I'd tell them to go away. They probably hurt those around them, too D:. Also, I totally got confused with the new control panel thing, and it took me longer than it should have to figure it out.**

**Alright! So this was originally going to be a giftfic for underhandlilies, because she hurt her arm. But I took way too long writing it, and decided to just write it as a general story. So, underhandlilies, since I know you read everything I put up, know that this was totally thought of with the intention of wishing you "get well soon". 8D**

**Review~?**


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